The work will come (but you can’t force it)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about control. And how much I tried to hold everything together when I first started in this industry. Like, if I could just do all the right things — reach out, be nice, stay visible, keep learning — then surely, the work would just start flowing.

But it didn’t. Or it did, but not in the way I expected. And not on my timeline.

And that’s the thing no one tells you, really. You can’t control what work you get. You can’t plan it like a regular job. You can’t out-organise the quiet spells. And that’s been one of the hardest things to sit with, coming from a salaried, structured background where effort usually meant reward.

So then what? What do you do when you can’t force anything to happen?

You move. You keep moving. But not in a frantic way — just enough that you don’t freeze.

Some days that’s admin. Or cleaning my brushes. Or just having a proper breakfast and not spiralling.

Some days it’s messaging someone you met on set six months ago. Some days it’s not doing that.

Some days it’s lighting a candle and tidying up your living room so you feel a bit more like yourself.

Other days it’s sitting on the sofa, and knowing that’s okay too — but also knowing that the sofa won’t bring the jobs in. So you can’t live there.

And it’s hard. It’s honestly really hard. Especially when money’s tight. When you see other people posting about their work and you’re still waiting for someone to get back to you. Or you’ve just come off a job and there’s nothing lined up, and that pit starts forming in your stomach.

But I have to believe that it’s all part of it. That the work does come. It always does, eventually. And trying to grip it tighter just makes everything feel worse.

So I’m trying to just keep moving.

Even if it’s small. Even if it’s slow.

Not because I’m trying to prove anything — but because when I move, I feel more like myself.

That’s all really. I don’t have a neat conclusion.

Just… if you’re in the bit where it’s quiet, you’re not doing anything wrong and it’s temporary.

Keep going.

It’s coming.

Overhauling my home kit storage on a quiet day ✌🏼